I need to apologize for the negative tone that my blog has presented the last few days. It's been a rough past few months, and I don't see it getting much better, any time soon. It's not my intention to have people read my blog, and feel bad, therefore I have decided to delete some portions of my blog, that may be reflected as negative, no matter how true they may be. The fact is that no body's life is perfect, and I was simply feeling sorry for myself, and the situations at hand. I thought that if I honestly revealed some of my true thoughts that were floating around in my head, that I would feel better, and somehow work these things out. The thing is, that I can't work these things out. They are what they are. There are things that need to be done to correct some of the problems that I am facing, but right now I'm not sure what I need to do first. Hopefully God will reveal that to me soon. I thought that if I put him central in my life, that everything would be fine. It's supposed to be fine, but it's not fine, and I honestly haven't been putting him first or central in my life lately.
I went to my GI appointment on Monday, and nothing has really been revealed yet, but I suspect that there is something seriously wrong with me. I recall my previous doctor saying at one point in time, that if your nails start looking rigged, then you have a problem. My nails have been rigged for awhile now. Not too bad, but none the less, they are indeed rigged, especially my thumb nails. I do suspect what the doctor will reveal to me on the 29th when I have my upper endoscopy scheduled. I am just hoping that it isn't too bad yet. I know that I am only speculating, and that I don't know yet what is going on inside me, but I know that I am not feeling healthy, and that honestly scares me.
I haven't taken good care of myself for about 10 years. I used to, but time and taking care of other people and stuff, got in the way. I forgot about taking care of myself. I simply forgot. I just hope it's not too late.
Simple Woman’s Day book ~ January 15, 2009
FOR TODAY . . .
Outside my window. . . Bright and sunny, but bitter cold. 10 degrees outside right now. Public schools were closed today, however our home school was open. We have about 5 inches of snow.
I am thinking. . . about my health, and how I need to get back on course. Not sure where to start right now, but I know that I need some insight as to where to begin. Hopefully that will be revealed to me soon; about my Mom, who is in Seattle, WA right now for my great Uncle Harold's funeral. He was my Godfather.
I am thankful for. . . My BIL's safe return home from Iraq; my family; and my home.
From the schoolroom. . . Reading and phonics lessons, math assessment, computer work, and social studies for Truthseeker; No lessons for Skaterboy, because he completed all of today's lessons yesterday; playdoh fun with Thumbody.
From the kitchen. ... Pancakes for breakfast; grilled cheese and applesauce for lunch; and soup and sandwich for dinner. Scott is taking Skaterboy to a church retreat this afternoon, and won't be home, so it's just the little boys and I, for dinner tonight.
I am wearing. . . burgundy velour pants, and black tee top. I am barefoot.
I am creating. . . Still hat's and mittens. Still working on my Christmas scrapbook. I completed 10 pages at the retreat last weekend. Hopefully I will get a chance this evening to work some more on it. Still have lots of mending and sewing projects that need finishing, as well.
I am going. . . No where. Scott and Skaterboy are leaving for Northern Illinois at 5:30 (he is driving the Van Hook's 12 passenger van up there) along with the rest of the youth from our church. Truthseeker is outside playing with a neighbor friend.
I am reading. . . Still reading the same books. Need to finish For the Children's Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School (Child-Life Book) for our Charlotte Mason book club meeting on Jan. 22.
I am hoping. . . Scott gets this job he interviewed for yesterday, and that nothing is found in my endoscopy on the 29th. I am also hoping that I can take some steps toward making Christ central in my life again, and transforming my life into the one he has planned for me.
I am hearing. . . the washer, dryer, and dishwasher.
Around the house. . . There is so much that needs to be done that I can't even begin to list where I need to start. Yes, it has gotten that bad lately. Time to dig my way out.
One of my favorite things. . . Sipping tea, and reading some of my favorite blogs.
A few plans for the rest of the week. . . Not too much this weekend. Grocery shopping tomorrow morning; cleaning house, and organizing tomorrow; painting hallway tomorrow (hopefully); and church Sunday. I haven't thought about next week yet. I guess I should.
A photo I feel like sharing.... This is a picture that Skaterboy took of himself. He is changing daily into quite a nice looking man. All those cute little childhood features are fading away, and in it's place are the defining features of a soon-to-be young man.